Rainz

2006-09-15T12:35:00.000+08:00

I'm scared. I fear the unknown, I'm afraid...i afraid of losing, losing everything that seem so important to me.. and this fear seems to swallowing me up such that i'm losing myself. I know i think too much, i get affected by anything too easily. perhaps, a policy of isolation would do me good. Life is too short, why bother thinking too much? Que sera sera.

The weather is unpredictable, but people are worse. The things that are supposed to be close and suddenly become so distant and strange. Things become more and more complicated as we grow up.. Sometimes, i just wish that things remain more constant and people are much simpler. I'm just a very naive person.

perhaps, it's time for me to let go of all those things that i have been trying to cling on. perhaps, by such, i would be able to return the delfine once upon a ago....I will learn ,learn to overcome my fears.

2006-08-22T00:59:00.000+08:00

岁月难得沉默

秋风厌倦漂泊

夕阳赖着不走挂在墙头舍不得我

昔日伊人耳边话已和潮声向东流

再回首往事也随枫叶一片片落

爱已走到尽头

恨也放弃承诺

命运自认幽默想法态多由不得我

壮志凌云几分愁知己难逢几人留

再回首却闻笑传醉梦中

笑谈词穷古痴今狂终成空

刀钝刃乏恩断义绝梦方破

路荒已叹饱览足迹没人懂

多年望眼欲穿过红尘滚滚我没看透

词嘲墨尽千情万怨英杰愁

语尽人散发花鬓白红颜莫

烛残未觉与日争辉图消瘦

当泪干血隐狂涌白雪纷飞都成空

Reflections

2006-07-14T19:12:00.000+08:00

I do not understand.. I do not know why have i become so insensitive to others's feelings? I dun like that insensitive delfine. have I changed for the worse? somehow, i would really want to find out the answer. Changes can be good but if one changes for the worse,that will be bad.. I do not rmb delfine being so rude and insensitive to others in the past? or was it that its the same delfine, just that it took me so long to realise what a screwed up person i had been for these past 18 years of life? I'm really sorry for what i said..and i also know that what i said cannot be taken back.. just like water that have been spilled. if there's a chance, I hope to apologise for my poor conduct. In future, I would just keep my mouth shut since nothing good comes out from there either. =X

2006-06-06T13:42:00.000+08:00

爱情不是一道选择题
我知道那个时候你就已经做了决定
你心里永远都有着一个相信
而我的相信
就是支持着你的相信
因为我心里有三个字
不能告诉你
如果没有
你和他的约定
我的爱
会不会有一种权力
成为你的行李
陪着你去旅行
无论是北极还是云里

我还守着
我和他的约定
最后幸福会
写下一份证明
就算没有生气
就算还会伤心
无人相信生命的奇迹
不该再用我的爱困住你
不该再让你眼中有泪滴
好不易去找寻
那三个字的替代者
也许我们从此不再相遇
永远记得你微笑的眼睛
别伤心你放心
我知道三个字的意义
如果有一天命运让我们再次相遇
而你的答案还缺少一个回应
或许你不知道
其实我也在等待另一个奇迹
我还守着我和他的约定
最后幸福会写下一份证明
就算没有生气
就算还会伤心
无人相信生命的奇迹
别伤心你放心
我知道那三个字的意义

当你笑着找到你的相信
我会将这三个字化作你的姓名
永远地放在心里

Rain rain come again

2006-04-17T16:59:00.000+08:00

You always keep your promises to me. no matter how unreasonable my demands are, as long as it is within your means, you will always fulfill them. You are always there for me. When i was down, you were there to share my tears. When i am happy, you always share my joy. Somehow, you always knew when i needed you. for that, i think i am really blessed to have someone like you. Thank you for everything. it is always a joy to have you around. i love rainy days! =)

2006-04-01T21:40:00.000+08:00

i dunno why.. but i simply feel super irritated now.. i'm irritated for whatever reasons i also dunno.. just feeling mean and horrible.. snapping away at everyone now who aks me anything.. IRRITATED! i hate having to do things that you all always ask me to.. it seems like you never let me rest at all.. one after another.. there are things that i want to do for myself too.. if i already dun have time for myself, why do have go do all those stupid stuffs... i seriously hate it.. there are already so much things i want and yet i can't.. but there are even more things that i have to do which i dun want to.. wad is this....ARGH!

LOST

2006-03-28T22:12:00.000+08:00

so stupid la.. this is the dunno how many times this stupid thing happened again... and people keep asking me this question.. yeah.. i know, i sux. haiz.. i dunno what's wrong or is it that i am just plain careless wad..but this really sux.. esp when there are so much things that are so important!! argh! i think that is only a matter of time that i will lose my way home too.. sigh.. i hope that some kind soul will ring my door bell soon.. but this wait seems sooooo long.... sigh..

Sat

2006-03-26T10:45:00.000+08:00

haha.. tuition was cancelled yesterday so that we could all have a break! and the stupid nee ann poly thingy also last min called off..haha. but nvm cos i went out with joy and wl to donate blood! haiz.. sad to say, i was deferred again.. i think i should just give up wanting to donate blood already la.. apparently, i have not enough iron myself.. they said that my iron level was very low.. abt 11.1.. sianz.. go all the way to outram.. to waste time.. and the stupid doctor was like laughing away la.. but i will try to eat more iron so that i can try to donate next time? since its for a good cause.. anyway, three person went.. only one could donate.. as for wl.. she managed to pass the glass door.. but din donate cos her vein too small.. they told her to do more exercises to strengthen the vein.. haha. but she got free food!

after which, joy's fren joined us.. some guy by the name of chee tat or i dunno wad.. supposedly ex-aj and cat high.. then, we walked around marina square looking for earings.. but i din see any which i like.. =(.. then walked and walked and walked..went pizza hut for dinner but wl had to leave for the anut's house..haha. we ordered a 4 persons meal.. and that poor guy had to eat a lot a lot.. haha i was very full too.. had so much pizza and pepsi la.. bloated. next, we made our way to suntec to watch the superband, since it was the objective of joy going with ct. it was quite amusing to see him like, nvm, dun have to go one.. then wear a very sad face.. haha.
superband was quite okay actually.. the performance was just okay.. not like anything great or wad.. yeah.. so we left there after like 5,6 performance..went candy empire to buy some sweets and took a super long bus ride on 162 home..quite tired.. but at least i went out! haha

2006-03-18T12:04:00.000+08:00

i really wonder why are some people so stupid that they can't think properly before doing or saying anything. similarly, this group of people are those who seems to think that they are highly sought after.. haha.. which in reality, not true. forgive me for my crudenes.. for godness sake, do u seriously think that i give a damn? come on, what's the point of saying all these now that they are already in the past. get a life!

then again, i have decided that these people are not worth my time. why should i waste my time over this kind of stupid things. I am delfine.. not just anyone else. and for your information, you seriously lack the character

六月的雨

2006-03-09T22:12:00.000+08:00

一场雨把我困在这里
你冷漠的表情会让我伤心
六月的雨就是无情的你
伴随着点点滴滴痛击我心里
oh~我不相信你不是故意的
却为何把我丢弃在风雨里
oh~我不忍心也不想背叛你
惟有默默等你回心转意
我没有放弃也不会离你而去
哪怕要分开我依然等你
我全心全意等你的消息
终会有一天你会相信我我爱你
music
一场雨把我困在这里
你冷漠的表情会让我伤心
六月的雨就是无情的你
伴随着点点滴滴痛击我心里
oh~我不相信你不是故意的
却为何把我丢弃在风雨里
oh~我不忍心也不想背叛你
惟有默默等你回心转意
我没有放弃也不会离你而去
哪怕要分开我依然等你
我全心全意等你的消息
终会有一天你会相信我我爱你
(一场雨想念你在我的心中都不可比拟
你走后什么都已经消失在风雨里)

Piano Exam

2006-03-08T15:44:00.000+08:00

Oh man.. i hope that i will pass la.. kinda of screwed.. but i hope i am just being negative. hmmm.. had a few mistakes here and there.. but hopefully, it's alrite.. i really really hope to pass.. i know i haven been really that hardworking in terms of my piano.. but i am quite sure to say that i practised quite hard.. please let me pass... the examiner look quite nice.. maybe he will be very kind and let me pass..omg...god bless me...i will pass..!!!!!

I pray you’ll be our eyes
And watch us where we go
And help us to be wise
In times when we don’t know

Let this be our prayer
As we go our way
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe
La luce che to dai

I pray we’ll find your light
Nel cuore restero
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarchi che
When stars go out each night
L’eterna stella sei
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c’e
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.
Sognamo un mondo senza piu violenza

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternita

La forza che ci dai
We ask that life be kind
E’il desiderio che
And watch us from above
Ognuno trovi amore
We hope each soul will find
Intorno e dentro a se
Another soul to love

Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer
Just like every child
Just like every child

Needs to find a place,
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
E la fede che
Hai acceso in noi
Sento che ci salvera

一直很安静

2006-02-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

空荡的街景想找个人放感情
做这种决定是寂寞与我为邻

我们的爱情像你路过的风景
一直在进行脚步却从来不会为我而停

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

你说爱像云要自在飘浮才美丽
我终於相信分手的理由时候很动听

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静
我从一开始就下定决心
以为自己要的是曾经
却发现爱一定要有回音

我们的爱情像你路过的风景
一直在进行脚步却从来不会为我而停

给你的爱一直很安静
来交换你偶尔给的关心
明明是三个人的电影
我却始终不能有姓名

给你的爱一直很安静
除了泪在我的脸上任性
原来缘份是用来说明
你突然不爱我这件事情

2006-02-24T18:17:00.000+08:00

wah.. things haven been going smoothly for me since i stepped into aj.. my grades are like so pathetic and my life is all messed up.. and now, my phone is dying on me.. and i'm coughing badly again..seen a doctor and it's still like that..even my medicine is almost finished.. guess i'm really dying soon.. haha

had pe yesterday even though i was sick! so irritating. i told her that i was really not feeling not too good, haven really recover yet.. and i still had to do pe if not make up... no choice. so went to change and i thought that i had to join my class for warm-up.. wah.. and i din even run for a long distance, it was already so horrible.. i was coughing like mad.. breathless. so i walked. luckily, kaiting and meili slowed down for me.. cos the rest all ran so fast ahead.then, she was like saying things like "oh i meant that u are supposed to do light pe and that does not includes running.. wad do u think u are doing by running? you want to collapse isit?"
-__- yeah right.. i love running.

then after pe, i still had to rush down for piano then tutition.. i was so tired yesterday.. and yet, i still couldn't get myself to slp. spent my night vomiting out my dinner.. it's was that bad until i slept on the sofa yesterday. hais. my health is failing me.. delfine is getting old.

delfine is getting old.. yes.. i think she's is.. this girl has been thinking too much and reading too much into wad ppl says. why am i still like that? i din wanted it this way. it did not have to end up this way, and yet it did. i seriously did not expect things to turn out that serious. life is is confusing.. why can't ppl make up their mind on wad they want.. if happiness is followed up by saddness, then i rather to be sad my life. at least, i wouldn't have experience wad's happiness and wouldn't feel sad in the first place.

my brother's b'dae is coming soon.. i was thinking of buying a wallet.. then again,is it thrown aside in one corner now that you have gotten a new one? i always keep my old wallets. for wadever use, i dunno. maybe one day, i would learn to have better use for them.

2006-01-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

i have been sleeping a lot these few days. perhaps sleeping is my way of escaping from reality ba. but somehow or rather, no matter how much i sleep.. i still feel tired. perhaps, it's my mind that is tired rather than my body ba. Perhaps.. perhaps. i have been doing alot of thinking.. thinking about those things which i really hoped but know that will never happen. ironically, i knew the the ending even before the begining., but still fell into that bottomless pit.. this should be called ming zhi gu fan ba.. knowing that it's a mistake right from start, i still continue making this mistake.. however, even if given another chance, i would still commit the same mistake ba. otherwise, how can i be called delfine.. delfine is so stubborn, so stubborn that she ends up hurting herself more than the damage inflicted on others..

i would be blogging much more often now as compared to last year ba.. for various reasons? i was afriad.. and i am still afraid. just that i am trying to convert this fear of mine into some other protection for myself.. is this the fear of getting hurt again? perhaps delfine will become more aloof ba..

2006-01-20T22:06:00.000+08:00

i am really glad that everything is over now.. at least, it will be better this way.. thanks everyone for all that u have hdone for me.. all that little little things
. i have been a small little little girl.. now, is time for me to stop being so naive.. thanks yizhen for coming down all the way to give me the 100 years of happiness.. i shall make good use of this happiness that u have given me and stay happy always.. this is delfine.. this is ME! hehe.. =)

2006-01-17T21:15:00.000+08:00

haha.. haven been blogging for a long long time..haha. realised that my last post was like last year sep..if oli haven reminded me.. guess i would have abandon my blog.. lol.. well,how time have passed.. next week is gonna to be chinese new year le!! cheers. but i dun really like this year cny, cos its kinda of falls on a sunday.. then so little holidays. but nevertheless, cny is a festival to be happy about! =)

within a year, many things have happened.. more of last week ba.. maybe is a time for me to be mature and grow up.. hahaz. jc2 life is indeed tough.. so much things to do.. but i glad that i dropped chem.. at least i wouldn't be struggling with my chem now.. but still kind of werid cos i am the only one in the whole class that dropped.. and ms yeo doesn't even recognise me anymore..sob sob..haha. but she still does ah..haha so surprise when she went up to me today.. have i changed a lot??? hmmm.. haha

though jc2 life sux, but there are still many interesting things happening.. like peiqi's bdae is on the 18th.. and gin's bdae is on the 1st.. hahaha.. and wad's amazing that mrs ang still rem big boy... haha chun seng eh.. seems like we must never offend anyone.. u never know.. hahaha. but i think ppl do change a lot.. haha. well changes are inevitable.. but i wouldn't mind if it was a change for the better.

walked home in the rain today.. haha just like delfine... so nice of gin to offer me her umbrella.. thanks a lot dear.. but its okay.. my house so near.. and i wouldn't get sick walking in the rain one..haha.. a lot of ppl have been showing their concern for me.. haha.. like joy wanting to drop by, and of cos mich darling,... alot lot... thank you! =)

2005-09-12T19:06:00.000+08:00

school reopened today.. dunnno why but times seems to pass so fast. one week of hols have just gone like this.. and promos is in three weeks time.. so mauch to do and yet so little time.. this is just so human.. we never seems to cherish the time we had..until it is gone?

kinda of feeling bad these few days. i have been mean and selfish...dunno what has got over me..think i have been wasting too much time thinking too much on unnecessary stuff. guess i better start to concentrate more on my studies now.. i dun want to be retained.=(

yesh.. have to mug really really hard for now.. then after that then enjot ba. nicole has kindly planned our next outing to be on the 15th of october.hahaha.. really looking forward. miss u guys soo much.. and of cos, lots of updating to do.. hahaha esp nicole! i want to hear more about you know what..hahaha..and wanzhen, i heard some intersting things abt u from wanling today.. hahaha.. hope to hear so gd news from you then..hehe.

as for now.. is back to mugging time again...